


Three Simple Words

by msweener19



Category: Chicago Fire
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-03-23
Updated: 2014-05-15
Packaged: 2018-01-16 17:01:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 17
Words: 18,630
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1354984
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/msweener19/pseuds/msweener19
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A Routine Call with Dawson lands Shay in the hospital fighting for her life. But not before 3 simple words in a text message sent Shay's head spinning.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

_I miss you…_ It stopped her dead in her tracks. One text that sent her mind spinning and yet it was three simple words. Dawson finally realized Shay wasn’t listening to her or walking alongside her to the common area anymore. She was just standing there next to the ambulance, staring at her phone. Dawson walks back toward her saying her name, but Shay don’t hear her until she realize Dawson’s trying to take her phone out of her hand to see what it says.

            “Don’t.” Shay say, as she locks her phone and shove it back into her pocket.

            “Come on Shay. Talk to me. Since I came back, you’ve been different. Like you don’t want me here or something and the only time you aren’t glued to your phone is if we have a call.” Dawson says.

            “It’s nothing Gabby. Really. And how could you say I don’t want you here! You’re my best friend. Of course I want you here.” She just needs to tell her and stop giving her only half truths.

            “It’s something Les! You haven’t been this attached to your phone….since Clarice. Oh god! Please tell me it isn’t her again. I’m gunna kick her ass!” Dawson says raising her voice a little.

            “Whoa. Chill. I’m done with Clarice. And you should know that!”

            “Then just tell me who it is because obviously someone very important to you!” Just as Shay is about to open her mouth to tell her to shut up, the alarm goes off. “I’m not done talk about this you know.” Dawson says as she gets in to the passenger’s seat. Both of them knowing anything personal has to be dropped as soon as those lights and sirens go on. It isn’t until after the patient is at the hospital and the paperwork is done that Shay finally replies to the text. The reply she gets make her laugh.

            “Alright. Fess up. Who is she?” Dawson says only half seriously because she’s smiling. She likes it when Shay’s happy.

            “Ok. Fine.” She pauses for a second. “I have to make this fun so I’m gunna give you three hints and you get three guesses. If you can’t figure it out from the hints then you have to figure it out yourself.” Dawson just nods like an eager child at Christmas. “Hint number one…. It’s a female…. Hint number two. She’s been to Molly’s… and hint number three… You know her.”

            “Jones?” The face Shay makes gives Dawson the answer. Dawson keeps thinking as she’s driving and she isn’t quite paying attention so she doesn’t see that some idiot in a truck has ran a red light, until it’s too late and it T-bones the passenger’s side of the ambulance.

            When Dawson comes to, she’s staring at the sky. She’s strapped down to a back board and she can just make out that Hermann is at her feet carrying her. “Hermann! Is Shay ok?”

            Hermann looks down at her, trying to keep his face neutral and emotionless but she can tell he’s struggling to. “I don’t know Dawson. She’s in bad shape. They’re working on getting her out right now. Lt. Severide is with her though.” They put her on the stretcher and loaded her into an ambulance. It isn’t until she is in the ambulance that she realizes Casey was the other person carrying her.

            “Matt. You have to stay here. Kelly is going to want to go with Shay when they get her out and Boden can’t be down both of his lieutenants. I’m fine.”

            “You sure Gabs?” Matt asks. She just nods and he gets up and jumps out of the ambulance. He knows she’s right but he didn’t want to leave her.

            A couple hours later, Dawson is cleared. A mild concussion and a broken leg. Apparently her left leg was slightly pinned after the driver’s side hit a concrete barrier. She goes to the waiting area and sees everyone there… and Rafferty? That had her confused. How did she know about the accident? Dawson went and sat in the chair next to Rafferty, setting her crutches down under the table in front of them. “How is she?” Dawson asks.

            “They rushed her straight to emergency surgery…. They said—they—She might not…” Rafferty can’t talk anymore. She’s crying. That’s when all the light bulbs turn on and everything clicks. The texts, the smiles, the laughs, the stunned look Shay had this morning…. It’s all because of Rafferty.

            All Dawson can do is pull her into a hug and let her cry on her shoulder. “She’s going to be ok. Shay’s a fighter.”

            Jones was sitting on the other side of Dawson and leaned in to whisper in her ear. “Dawson. She has severe brain swelling and internal bleeding.”  And that sentence right there made Dawson realize why everyone had such a pained look on their faces. Why Severide had his head in his hands and silently crying. She still wasn’t sure how Rafferty found out about the accident so quickly, but she figured she find out later. Right now they needed to focus on Shay. 


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

            It wasn’t until another six hours later did the Doctor come out to the waiting area to tell them about Shay. She was in a medically induced coma and was in critical condition. If she lived through the next 24 hours it was likely she would recover.

            “Only one person at a time can see her until she’s in a more stable condition.” The Doctor said. Everyone assumed Severide would be the first one to go see her, but when he didn’t get up from his seat and kept his head in hands, Casey had to sit down next to him to talk to him. It wasn’t often that Kelly Severide got scared, but sitting in that chair, he was terrified he was going to lose his best friend. When Casey finally got him to get up to go see Shay, Kelly walked over to Dawson first before following the doctor back

            “I won’t take long. Then you can go in and see her.” Kelly said to Dawson.

            “Take as long as you need Kelly.” When Kelly was out of earshot Dawson broke down. Matt was by her side instantly to catch her before she fell. “This is all my fault Matt! I wasn’t paying attention! Shay could die and it’s all my fault!”

            “Gabby. It’s not your fault. It’s the idiot driver who ran the red light. He was going too fast for you to be able to stop in time to avoid him.” Dawson just kept crying. When she saw Kelly coming down the hall, she told Rafferty she should go and see Shay next and ran to the bathroom to hide from Kelly so he wouldn’t see she was crying. No words were exchanged. Rafferty just got up and went back to Shay’s room.

Tears were running down Allison’s face the second she saw Shay laying in the hospital bed. She walked up to the side of her bed and sat down, taking Shay’s hand in her own. The only thing she thought she should do was to just talk. So that’s what she did. “Leslie Shay. You need to pull through. There was so much I want to tell you. I actually texted you to see if you wanted to come to my apartment so we could hang out and I could talk to you. I thought you were too busy watching Ellen and that was why you didn’t answer me right away. But then Severide called me… He told me what happened… and I couldn’t get here fast enough. When I was waiting to hear anything I was thinking about how it even crossed Kelly’s mind to even call me, but then I realized that he’s your best friend and he knows you and can read you like a book. So I’m sure he’s seen how happy you’ve been since we started talking more and seeing each other outside of work since my suspension. Well I’m just assuming you’ve been happy because of me, because I’ve been happier… and I’ve processed and moved on…. But I can’t go through that again though Shay. Not when I finally realized how much I need you. I’m falling in love with you. So you need to pull through so that I can kiss you and take you on dates… and love you. You need to live… Can you live? For me?” Rafferty was crying hard enough now that she could continue talking. She just sat next to Shay and silently cried for a little while longer before getting up and kissing her on the forehead and going to find Dawson so she could see Shay. That is if she finally stopped beating herself up over the accident.

            When Allison finally found Dawson, she was in the ladies restroom again hiding from everyone. “You need to go and see Shay.” She said to Dawson the second she saw her.

            “I can’t Rafferty. She’s in that hospital bed because of me. I can’t.” Tears started sliding down her cheeks again.

            “I don’t know you very well and I know Shay told you about how I treated her before and I wouldn’t blame you for not liking me, but you need to listen to me. I hurt her just like you think you did. The only difference is I hurt her with words. She somehow forgave me and gave me a second chance to be her friend. You’re her best friend Dawson, even if it was your fault she would forgive you. So get your ass in there and sit with her for as long as you need. Talk to her even. I did. It might even help. Then if you want, you can go home and get cleaned up and try and get some sleep, and I’ll stay with her for the night or you can stay with her for the night and I’ll come back in the morning and we can take shifts with Severide or something until she’s more stable and can have more visitors at one time. It’s your choice though.” Dawson just stared at her for a few seconds before responding.

            “Matt made Kelly go home for the night. He’s staying with Kelly just in case he needs anything…. I should probably go home and get cleaned up. I’ll go in a minute and see her for a little bit then head home.” Rafferty nodded her head and turned to leave, but as she pulled the door open Dawson spoke again. “You love her, don’t you?”

            “I do.” She turned back around to face Dawson.

            “When she wakes up, you need to tell her because she loves you too. And you can’t hurt her.”

            “I’ll tell her and I won’t ever hurt her. Now that I know, I can’t live without her.” With that, Rafferty turned and went down the hall to talk to one of the doctors she used to work with. Rafferty had some pull from when she was a Resident at the hospital and most of the doctors loved her and if Shay was going to be here for a while, then she’s going to have the best care and moved out of the ICU and into a private room as soon as she was stable.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Twenty five. That’s how many days Leslie Shay was kept in a medically induced coma. During those twenty five days, Allison Rafferty only left Shay’s side when either Kelly or Dawson came to sit with her so she could get cleaned up and attempt to get some sleep. Since Rafferty was suspended, she stayed with Shay when Kelly and Dawson were on shift. But she started to worry because there were only six days left of her suspension, pending a hearing of course, and eight days before Dawson took her firefighter test again and Leslie still hadn’t woken up yet. Rafferty and Dawson knew medically, it could take time for the drugs to wear off and for her body to be ready to wake up, but emotionally they both just wanted her to wake up already.

            It wasn’t until day twenty eight did Shay finally wake up. Kelly had been sitting with her at the time and he was crying he was so happy to see her awake. He called Rafferty and Dawson as soon as they had her moved to a private room and they rushed right over.

            “Hey sleepy head. How’s my favorite lesbian doing?” Rafferty said as she entered the room. She lived a little bit closer to the hospital than Dawson so she got there before her.

            “Let’s be honest Allison. I’m your favorite lady lover because you love me.” Shay attempted to grin but it just turned into a funny face. “I feel great. Barely any pain. And I have a really hot friend to keep me company.” Then Shay said in a mock whisper, “And I am not talking about Severide.” Rafferty was just standing there with her mouth open. She was in a little shock because she never calls her Allison and she was very blunt. “Oh or Gabby.”

            “She doesn’t have a filter when she’s on the good pain killers.” Severide supplied. He found it all comical and was trying to contain a laugh. “I’m going to go get some coffee.” And with that Kelly was out the door leaving Shay and Rafferty alone.

            “So you missed me huh?” Shay said as soon as Kelly was gone.

            “Yeah. I did. Did they tell you how long you’ve been here for?” Rafferty said taking a seat where Kelly just was.

            “Kelly said something about twenty something days? My brain is still a little bit fussy.”

            “Twenty eight days Shay. Do you know how painful it was for every day to go by and not to hear your voice or even have some type of conversation with you? I was so scared. I thought I was going to lose you before I even got a chance to have you.” There were tears running down Rafferty’s cheeks now.

            “Oh Allison.” Shay said reaching for Rafferty’s hand. “There was no way I was going without a battle. And this was just a little itty bitty fight.” She tugged on their joined hands, silently telling Rafferty to stand up. Shay used her remote to sit herself up in the bed, it was way more comfortable to sit up, and scooted over just enough so that Rafferty could lay next to her in the bed. Patting the spot next to her Rafferty looked at her. She was worried about hurting Shay. “Come on Raff. Just lay next to me. You won’t hurt me. Or do I need to tell you how hot you are again before I get you into bed?” They both chuckled at that. Just as she was about to lay down next to Shay, Kelly returned with Dawson and Casey in tow.

            “Found them outside the door stalking you guys.”  Kelly said with a chuckle.

            “We weren’t stalking. We were just giving them time to talk.” Matt said.

            “Um no, you were giving them time to talk, I was actually stalking.” Dawson said. It earned a little chuckle from Rafferty so she knew it was ok to say.

            “Well Ms. Soon to be firefighter, if you must know what I was doing, I was trying to get Raff here in bed.” Both Matt and Kelly choked on their coffees as they were taking sips. “Kelly come on you should know by know how unfiltered I am.”

            They all sat round for a little bit talking until Kelly, Matt, and Dawson had to leave to go to work. Rafferty stayed around. Really she was planning on not leaving Shay’s side now that she was awake. She was too afraid that if she did then she’d never see Shay again. But she didn’t tell Shay that.

            When Allison’s suspension was up and they told her she could go back to work, Allison wanted to use her saved up time so she could just stay with Shay until she was released from the hospital and could get around without too much help. But Shay wouldn’t let her do that because she was going to be in the hospital for another week and the doctors said she was going to be in pain still for another few weeks after that. Shay compromised though.

            Allison went back to work for the remaining week Shay had in the hospital. When she was finally released, Shay was staying at Allison’s apartment, in the guest bedroom, because Allison’s apartment was only one floor and there was an elevator to get to the apartment. Allison had her schedule worked out so that her two days off were the first two days Shay was out of the hospital, and since Rafferty was back at 51 as PIC, Boden insisted that she take an extra two days off and he would get a replacement for her.

            Much to Shay’s surprise, she wasn’t in that much pain. She was enjoying getting to spend time with Rafferty though… a lot. Allison was sitting on the couch flipping through channels waiting for Shay to come back from the bathroom when she heard Shay calling her from down the hall. Allison of course thought something was wrong, rushed down the hall. Only to find that Shay wasn’t in the bathroom… or the guest room. She was in Allison’s room. Sitting at the end of the bed.  

            “Thanks for scaring me.” Allison said with a little chuckle. She wasn’t really mad. “What are you doing in here anyway? Not that I mind that you’re in here because you can be in here whenever.”

            “Well… I thought…maybe…” Shay wasn’t sure how far she could push with Rafferty yet and she didn’t want to push too hard. “Can we just… lay down… in here… I just… you go back to work tomorrow… and… I didn’t want to push too…” Shay was cut off by Allison’s lips on hers. It was a slow, passionate kiss but it spoke louder than words at the moment. “Damn. If that’s how you plan on shutting me up every time I start rambling like that then I’m gunna ramble more often.” Rafferty just pulled her into another kiss, pushing Shay back so was laying against the pillows. 


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

            When Shay woke up the next morning, she was aware of two things, she was laying almost on top of someone, and the pain killers must have worn off because she was in a lot more pain. The past couple of mornings she’s woken up hurting but it was only because she was sleeping and not moving much so her muscles got stiff. Then Shay realized there were fingers running up and down her spine under her shirt and she knew she didn’t have to panic. She knew who’s hand that was and who she was laying on.

            Shay turned her head to kiss whatever exposed skin she was closest to her; Allison’s collarbone. “I could get used to this.” She tightened her arm around Rafferty’s middle before sitting up on her elbow to look at her better. Allison started laughing though. “Let me guess. Bed head?”

            “You’re still really _hot_ though.” Allison said with a smirk. They both laughed at that. Shay was never going to be able to live it down now. When the laughing died down, Rafferty looked at Shay with more seriousness. “After I get off shift tomorrow, do you want to go out to dinner?”

            “Are you asking me on date Rafferty?” Shay whispered, inches from Allison’s face. Allison closed those few inches and kissed her. When they broke away they both had smiles on their faces. “I’ll take that has a yes. Of course I’ll have dinner with you tomorrow.”

            They spent the next few hours before Rafferty had to leave for work lying in bed, snuggling and talking about everything and nothing all at the same time. Allison waiting until the last possible minute to get up and get dressed, in the bathroom because as fun as it would be to tease Shay she didn’t want to be that mean.

            “Are you going to be ok? I’m sure if I call Boden he can find someone to cover for me.”

            “I’ll be fine. Don’t worry. If I need you, I’ll call you. And it’s not like you aren’t going to text me about a million times in the next twenty four hours anyway.” Shay said kissing her one last time.

            “You’re lucky I really like you.” Allison looked at her watch. “I really have to go don’t I?”

            “Yeah. Your shift will go by so quick that you won’t even have time to miss me.”

            “I doubt that. I really have to go.” Allison said as she opened the front door to her apartment, kissing Shay again before leaving.

            When dinner rolled around, Shay was missing Allison a lot. She wanted to call her but decided on texting her instead. _I miss you._ She thought she would get an instant reply, but Allison must have been on a call.

            It was just after Shay laid down in Allison’s bed that she finally got a reply. _I miss you too._

            _S: how’s ur day been so far? Haven’t killed my replacement yet have u?_

_R: not yet. We just go back from a bad car accident… somehow everyone’s going to be ok._

_S: guess where I am right now._

_R: u better be in my apartment still!_

_S: relax… It’s too cold to go out tonight. Guess where in ur apt. I am._

_R: in the bathroom, crapping rainbows? Lmao. Idk._

_S: How’d u know? Lol. I’ll give u a hint… there’s pillows and blankets nd everything smells like u…_

_R: my bed._

_S: ding ding ding! We have a winner! Know what ur prize is?_

_R: I already have my prize…_

            Allison was really missing Shay. She never felt the way she felt when she was with her fiancé and it scared her but also excited her.

            _S: fine then. I guess u don’t want a naked me in ur bed?_

Shay was getting bold and daring. It was easier to do in a text, and it was fun teasing Rafferty.

            _R: is that what u have planned after our date?_

_S: nah. We still have one more date to go on before that is even a possibility. I’m counting all the days we’ve spent together as one date.. just so u know…_

_R: ahh. Well then looks like I’m going to have to tease you a little between now and then won’t I?_

_S: it’s on!_


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

            _Rafferty: Good morning beautiful._

            Rafferty didn’t get a reply from Shay until almost eleven am. Shay had trouble sleeping the night before because she misses Allison. One night of sleeping in her arms and she already missed it. That thought should have scared her, but it didn’t. A lot of things both of them were feeling that should scare them, didn’t.

            _Shay: Morning sunshine. Four more hours._

_R: I know. I’m excited._

_S: what exactly am I supposed to wear?_

_R: casual. I tried to make reservations at a nice restaurant, but apparently everyone in Chicago needed an ambulance today…_

_S: honestly I don’t care where we go. We could go to Molly’s and I would be ok with it…_

_R: no way…. As much as I love everyone at 51, they wouldn’t leave us alone if we went there… don’t worry tho, you’ll like what I’ve got planned._

_S:Ok. How was ur night? Did you get any sleep?_

_R: it was kinda slow. Couple calls. Nothing major. I think I was too excited to sleep tho honestly…_

_S: That’s adorable… I think I had the same problem though… tell anyone nd I will deny it!_

Rafferty was spent the last four hours and extra hour at a fire call. When she left the hospital to head back to the fire house she was pissed. It’s not like she can control the calls but it would have been nice to be able to leave on time. She was just glad that she knew that Shay would understand.

            When she got back, she headed straight for the locker room. Everyone else either left already or were heading out as she came in. When she opened her locker, she didn’t waste time getting changed. She was so preoccupied that she didn’t notice anyone else in the locker room. She was surprised though when she felt arms wrap around her bare waist and kisses running down her neck and shoulder.

            “Surprise.” Shay whispered into Allison’s ear, kissing her neck again.

            Allison couldn’t stop the moan that came out. Any time she was anywhere near Shay, she was always very aware of her. Even before the accident and the suspension. “You do realize I only have my pants and bra on right?”

            “Yep… Do you not want me to see you without a shirt on?” Shay said pulling away.

            Allison turned around to face her. She didn’t want Shay to feel insecure or pushy when she did things, but she understood. Shay assumes that Rafferty was straight, or is still straight. The truth is, Allison never was straight.

            “You can do anything whenever or wherever you want. I just said that because I know you said you wanted to wait until after our next date to do anything… more. I didn’t want you to do something you didn’t want or something. I like it when you are close to me. And besides I would tell you if you did something I didn’t want you to ok?” Rafferty was looking at Shay with so much love that she was having a hard time keeping those three words she’s been dying to say in.

            “I know… I’m just… Can I be completely honest with you?” Rafferty nodded. “I’m scared the last person I felt this way about just up and left one day. I don’t want that to happen. Not with you.”

            Allison pulled her into a kiss, trying to make Shay feel everything she felt. “Don’t worry about me. I’m not going anywhere anytime soon… I actually think you might be stuck with me no matter what.”

            “Ok. Well can you put a shirt on now because I’m becoming very distracted.” Shay picked up Allison’s shirt and handed it to her.

            “I’m actually going to take a quick shower. Luckily where we are going doesn’t require reservations.” Rafferty leaned up a little and kissed Shay before picking up the rest of her clothes and heading to the showers.

            When Allison was changed and ready to go, they headed out to Allison’s car. Before Shay could reach for the handle of the passenger door, Rafferty had it opened for her. Shay just got in, with a smile and a shake of her head. When Allison got in the car and pulled away from the curb, Shay reached for Allison’s hand so she could hold it.

            “I was going to pick you up for our date you know.” Allison said.

            “I know. I just really missed you and I couldn’t wait to see you. And then you had to take forever on that call. I actually hid with Boden’s secretary just so the boys wouldn’t see me when they got back. I didn’t want them to ruin the surprise.”

            “Well you did surprise me. Luckily I could smell your perfume the second your arms came around me. If I hadn’t, I probably would have elbowed you.”

            “That would have hurt. It kind of sucks that I can’t have a drink with dinner. Stupid pain killers.” Shay was joking. She didn’t care that she couldn’t drink. She just cared that she finally was going on a date with Allison Rafferty.

            “We don’t have to go out. We can go home and just order in, or I can cook and we can just watch movies or something. I don’t mind. It can still be a date.” Allison said.

            “No. We are going out to dinner.” Allison knew she couldn’t argue with Shay.

            When they pulled up to the restaurant, Shay was surprised. It was a restaurant she had never been to before. “I’ve never been here before.” Shay said.

            “Don’t worry, you’ll love it. It’s real Italian. Literally the owners are from Tuscany. Everything’s homemade and it’s delicious.” Allison leaned across the center console and kissed Shay on the cheek. “Now come on. I’m starving.”

            When they entered the restaurant, Allison was greeted by an older woman, who instantly pulled her in for a hug. Shay was surprised to learn that Rafferty could speak Italian fluently. She actually thought it was hot.

            “Shay. This is my Grandma, Lucia. Grams, this is Leslie Shay, my girlfriend.” Shay perked up at the word girlfriend. It wasn’t that she objected to being girlfriends. Not at all. It was just a nice surprises. Shay actually wanted to talk to Rafferty about it but at least now she really didn’t have to.

            “It’s nice to meet you ma’am.” Shay offered her hand to Lucia but it was swatted down by her.

            “There’s no hand shaking in this family. We hug!” She said, pulling Shay into a hug. Shay met Allison’s eyes over Lucia shoulder and she gave Allison a genuine smile. Rafferty knew then that she didn’t go too far with taking Shay for dinner here.

            Dinner went really well. Even though they’ve been spending so much time together, they still had things to talk about. They talked about what things were like growing up, what they were like growing up. It didn’t surprise Shay that Rafferty knew other languages. She knew she was smart.

            “What other languages can you speak?” Shay asked.

            “Besides Italian? Spanish and a little German. Oh and American Sign Language.” Allison said. Not many people knew she could speak other languages. “I took Spanish in high school. Then a year of German in college. I grew up hearing Italian at home. My mom taught me it. For a while it was the only way I could communicate with my grandparents when they first moved here.”

            “That’s actually really cool.” Shay took a sip of her water. “So… you’re grandma seemed pretty ok with you telling her I was your girlfriend.”

            “Um… it’s ok that I called you that right?” Shay just nodded, taking Allison’s hand that was on the table. “I’ve actually dated girls, women… before. My grandma and I have always been super close. I thought that out of everyone in my family, her and my grandpa were going to be the ones to have the problem with it. They’re super Catholic. So when I told them, I was terrified what their reaction was going to be. Neither one of them bat an eye. They just wanted me to be happy.”

            “Why didn’t you tell me before that you’ve dated women?”

            “After my last partner over at 24 pulled the shit she did… for whatever reason, I thought you were going to be the same. So I put up the walls and was a complete ass to you. But then you said that you were there for me if I ever needed to talk that day when we were doing laundry, and I realized that you were nothing like her. So I stopped saying shit and let you in a little bit at a time. Then the suspension happened and then I was going to talk to you about everything, but then the accident happened and all I was worried about was you getting better. And now here we are.”

            “Well I forgave you for everything you said that day in the laundry room.” Allison had unshed tears in her eyes now. “Hey there’s no crying. Everything’s ok. I’m ok… why don’t we get out of here?” Allison just nodded and got up. She handed Shay her jacket and put on hers. They said goodbye to Allison’s grandparents and headed back to Allison’s apartment. 


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

            The few weeks went by fast. Shay was getting better and she knew sooner or later she was going to have to go back home to her apartment. The only problem was that she didn’t want to. She knew it would be moving way too fast and there would be so many stupid U-Haul jokes made by everyone at 51. She honestly had no clue what she should do. Severide was no help. He hasn’t had a real meaningful relationship since the first Renee, and things were just starting to look good for him and Detective Lindsay, but it wasn’t anywhere near serious yet. Dawson and Casey were only living together because Dawson started staying with him after he was released from the hospital, so it could be the same thing for Shay and Rafferty.

            _Shay: So I’m kinda freaking out right now…_

_Dawson: um why?_

_S: Well the plan was I was staying w Allison till I was better & I’m pretty much better… but now idk. I love severide, but we both knew we would never live together forever ya know? _

_D: so ur saying u don’t wanna go back to ur apt. and u wanna move in with rafferty? Should I go rent the U-Haul now? Lol_

_S: GABBY!! It’s not funny._

_D: idk what to say… I don’t think I’m the one u need to be talking to bout this tho…_

_S: ugh. Why do u have to be so logical all the time?_

            Shay knew Dawson wouldn’t give her the answer she needed, but it did give her a push in the direction she needed. She knew she needed to bring up the subject when Rafferty got home from work.

            _S: if I were to tell u I wanted to make dinner for us tonight… what would u say_

_R: umm… please don’t burn the building down?_

_S: I’m serious!! I wanna make dinner. It’s either been take out or u making something super delicious… I wanna do something special for u tonight…_

_R: Sweetie, I don’t care we have for dinner. It could be greasy pizza for all I care… I just like that I’m having dinner with u. and that’s all that matters…_

_S: no pizza… how bout spaghetti? I may have been going thru the drawers in ur kitchen and found what I’m assuming is one of ur grandmas recipes… how’s that sound?_

_R: it sounds perfect… what’s so special about tonight tho. I didn’t forget ur bday or something did i?_

_S: no u didn’t forget anything… I’m finally feeling like myself again and I wanted to do something special with u… and I was hoping could talk, nothing major or super serious…_

_R: ok. I’ll be home in an hr as long as we don’t get a call..._

            As soon as Rafferty said that, Shay got busy making dinner. She wanted everything to be perfect. It wasn’t just the whole living together thing she wanted to talk to Allison about, there were a few other things too.

            An hour and a half later, Shay heard the front door to the apartment open. “I’m home.” Allison said as she walked through the door. “And dinner smells delicious!” Allison followed the smell to the kitchen where she found Shay hard at work making dinner. She walked up behind Shay and wrapped her arms around her waist, resting her chin on Shay’s shoulder looking over it and into the pan of sauce. “I could get used to this you know. Coming home to my beautiful girlfriend making me dinner.”

            “Well wishes can come true you know.” Shay said putting the spoon down and turning around to give Allison a kiss. “How was your shift?”

            “Boring. Only had a few calls. It was nice for once, but not you know?” Allison said.

            “I get it. We don’t get paid for sitting on our asses all shift.” Shay gave Allison another kiss. This time putting her hands underneath Allison’s shirt against her lower back. “Why don’t you go shower or change or whatever and I’ll finish making dinner.”

            “Are you trying to tell me I smell or something?” Rafferty said with a chuckle. “I actually think I’m going to go shower. I feel kind of gross.” Allison gave one last kiss to Shay before turning around to head for the bathroom, but not before getting a playful slap on the butt by Shay.

            Shay was glad Allison decided she wanted to take a shower. It gave her time to set the table and light candles and find some songs on her phone she could have play in the background as they ate dinner. She really was going all out with it.

            When Rafferty came back into the kitchen after her shower, she was in sweatpants and one of Shay’s baggy t-shirts. “Shit. If I had known you were going all out with this I wouldn’t have put on sweats.”

            “Don’t go change. It doesn’t matter. I like it when you’re all comfy and laid back.” Shay said as she pulled out a chair for Allison. “Now sit your sexy ass down. Please.”

            During dinner they talked about their days. They talked about the calls Rafferty’s been on and how much they miss being on calls together. Shay couldn’t wait to get back to work. She was getting a little antsy having nothing to do all day.

            When dinner was done and after Allison insisted on cleaning up, they went to the living room to talk. Rafferty ended up laying her head in Shay’s lap when they sat down on the couch. Shay didn’t mind as long as they got to have this conversation.

            “So you know how in the hospital, we decided that I was going to stay with you until I was better?” Allison just nodded her head. “I have my follow up appointment tomorrow and I’m sure the doctor is going to clear me to go back to work, which mean technically I’m better.”

            “Oh.” Allison was quiet for a few seconds. “What if I said to you that you didn’t have to go back to your apartment?”

            “What do you mean?” Shay knew what she meant, but she needed Allison to say it so she knew she wasn’t overstepping anything.

            “What if we made things more permanent? What if you moved in… completely?” Rafferty sat up now so she was face to face with Shay.

            “Is that what you want? You don’t think it’s too fast?” Shay asked.

            “That doesn’t matter. It’s what feels right for me and you. So what we haven’t been dating that long. That doesn’t matter. What matters is you and me. If the last year has taught me anything, it’s that life is too short. Before my fiancé died he gave me that whole speech about after he was gone to find love again. That it was ok for me to love someone again. And that’s what I’m doing.” Both of them had tears in their eyes now. “I love you Leslie Shay. I’ve loved you since that day in the laundry room. So you moving in with me feels like the best thing in the world because I would want nothing more than to come home to you or with you after work every single day.”  Allison pulled Shay into a passionate kiss, not breaking apart until oxygen was needed.

            “I love you too Allison.” Shay said wiping the tear from under Allison’s eyes. “Damn we’re emotional messes.” Shay leaned in to kiss Allison again.

            When hands started to roam to places they hadn’t been before and items of clothing started to get in the way, there was only one thing on Rafferty’s mind. “Bed. Now.” And with that Rafferty surprised Shay and lifted her up and carried her to bed. 


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

            The next morning Rafferty woke up before Shay, just like most mornings. Since Shay started sleeping in Allison’s room, she liked it when she woke up before Shay. She really liked just being able to hold her close, knowing that finally she was hers.

            This morning, however, was different. Only a little bit though. For once it was Allison laying almost on top of Shay instead of the other way around. And to top it all off, they were still very much naked. As the previous night’s activities played through Rafferty’s mind, she started kissing Shay’s bare chest, trailing up to her collar bone, and ending on Shay’s neck. Rafferty hadn’t realized though that Shay had started to come to as soon as she started.

            When Shay came to enough to realize what was going on, she waited a few seconds before surprising Allison, and in one shift motion, rolled them over so she was on top.

            “Well good morning to you too.” Shay said giving Rafferty a quick kiss. “Trying to get a quickie in before shift?”

            “Nope. Because I don’t have to work today. I switched shifts with someone else so that my day off could be today. I wanted to be able to go to your doctor’s appointment with you.” Rafferty said.

            “Since we have the whole day today to do whatever we want now, at least after my appointment, what do you want to do?”

            “We could go over to your apartment and get some more of your clothes and stuff? Then I was thinking we could make it really official and get you a key made?”

            “How romantic Raff. I get a key!” Shay said giving Allison a kiss. “What we did last night? That, was what made everything official. I mean obviously I’m going to need a key. I got thinking though. Where is all my stuff going to fit?”

            “I don’t know. We could make room somehow and take your dresser from your apartment and bring it over here?”

            “That’s a brilliant idea.” Shay got up out of bed, not even bothering to cover herself up at all. “I’ll be right back.” Allison just laid there, confused, and waited for Shay to come back.

            “Why’d you need your phone?” Allison asked when Shay walked back into the room.

            “To text Dawson. Tell her we’re going to need that U-Haul now.” Allison still looked confused. “She made a joke yesterday. I’ll just show you the conversation.” Shay handed Rafferty her phone and she scrolled through the texts, laughing a little at Shay’s obvious freak out moment.

            “Did you have doubts that I would want you to move in?” Rafferty asked, handing Shay her phone back.

            “It wasn’t that I had doubts, I just didn’t know how to ask.” Shay said shyly.

            “Good thing I brought it up first then.” Rafferty chuckled. “You have to send Dawson that text now. I want to know her reaction.” Shay typed the message and pressed send.

            _Shay: u wanna go pick up that U-Haul now or later?_

_Dawson: NO WAY!!! Seriously?_

_S: would I joke about something like this?_

            Shay and Rafferty were both looking at Shay’s phone as the conversation continued.

            _D: did u finally tell her?_

Allison looked at Shay confused. “Tell me what?”

            “That I love you.” Shay said giving her a quick kiss.

            _D: what r u doing? Wait I don’t wanna know! Ur taking too long to reply!_

_S: relax! we were talking. And besides that finally happened last night. Oh and yeah I told her. Think that’s why I finally got her in bed with me._

            _D: u have been there for weeks and it just happened last night? Damn she really has changed u, hasn’t she?_

_S: the best part is I’ve been here for weeks nd sleeping in the same bed with her… have u seen my girlfriend? She’s hot!_

_D: la la la. I don’t wanna know. La la la. I’m going to work now so I’ll talk to u later…_

“She is so weird.” Shay said looking up at Allison, who was making a weird face, like she was thinking. “What’s wrong?”

            “What did Dawson mean by that? When she said that you’ve changed?” Rafferty was really just curious.

            “After my last serious girlfriend dumped me a few years ago, I started to wilder. I drank more, slept around, which I’m not proud of either. Kelly and Gabby had to pick me up off the bathroom floor on multiple occasions because I was so mad and upset that she had left. But then you came to 51 and as we got closer, the less I started to drink and the less I wanted to sleep with random strangers.” Shay really hated opening up to people about things. It usually took a huge amount of trust for it to happen.

            “Well you can tell Severide and Dawson that they won’t have to worry about picking you up off the floor again. That’s not going to ever happen again.” Allison said seriously. “I love you Leslie.”

            “I love you too Allison.” Shay leaned over and kissed Allison until oxygen was a must. “You know, if you thought Dawson’s reaction to me moving in, I’m sure Kelly’s is going to be a lot better.”

“Text him then. Unless you want to tell him in person?” Allison suggested.

            “I have an idea.” Shay said as she was typing.

            _Shay: So I have to tell u something. Would u rather it be in person tho?_

_Kelly: if ur gunna tell me that ur permanently shacking up with Rafferty. I already know. I as sitting next to Dawson when you texted her._

_S: are u mad that I didn’t tell u myself?  
K: what? No of course not. I’m actually really happy for u… at least now I can have sex on the couch without worrying about u coming home…_

_S: Ewwwww I don’t wanna know all ur hetero business. And it better only be Erin ur doing that with!_

_K: don’t worry. Not screwing this one up… I really like her…_

“Aw! Severide has a heart!” Rafferty said. She was leaning over Shay’s shoulder reading the conversation.

“Yeah. She’s has to be something special for him to be talking like that.”

_S: ur helping me move in by the way._

_K: tell me when and as long as I get pizza and beer u got urself a deal._

The rest of the morning was spent in bed, exploring each other’s bodies more. When it was time for them to have to get ready to go to Shay’s doctor’s appointment, Allison had literally dragged a confused and naked Shay to the bathroom with her. It wasn’t until the shower was on, that Shay caught on.

Shay’s doctor’s appointment was quick and painless. And as expected, Shay was told she could go back to work next week. The doctor was pretty sure Rafferty was more excited about the news than Shay was, and Shay was really excited.

“I’m glad you’re finally coming back to work. The guy they have as your replacement is super annoying. The only thing saving him from me telling him off is the fact that he’s actually a really good Paramedic.” Allison said. They had just gotten back from the doctors and were sitting on the couch watching tv.  “You’re not worried that we’ll get sick of each other because we’re going to be spending so much time together are you?”

“What? No. I mean, yeah I thought about the possibility, but I think it’s a super small possibility. We both know when we need to walk away from each other before something is said that we can’t take back.” Shay said. “You know, I was thinking the other day. Have you thought about going back and finishing your residency? You don’t necessarily have to go back to Chicago Med to finish it if you’re not comfortable being there.”

“I’ve been thinking about it. It’ll be crazy hours and I won’t always be able to see you and that will suck.”

“We can make all that work. Please don’t let that be the reason why you don’t go back.” Shay paused for a second and then smirked. “Wait a minute! You went to med school. You have a medical degree. So you’re technically a doctor. Doctor Allison Rafferty… I like it. It has a nice ring to it. Doctor Rafferty. Sounds sexy.”

“You’re a dork and yet so adorable.” Allison said. “Ok. If you’re ok with it, then I’m going to do it.”

“Oh I’m so ok with it Dr. Rafferty.” Shay said in a sultry voice. 


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

            Over the next few weeks, Rafferty was in contact with Chicago Med trying to get back into their residency program. Luckily they hadn’t filled the spot she had left months ago when her fiancé died. She would start again in a month. That gave both Shay and Rafferty time to get Shay’s stuff unpacked after they moved her in. If only they could find a weekend that wasn’t jammed packed with either work or Shay having to tend bar at Molly’s.

            They finally found a weekend two weeks before Allison was scheduled to go back to the hospital. So far they had Severide and Lindsay, Otis, Dawson, and Clarke. Now they just needed a way to move everything.

            _Shay: Is Casey going to be able to help me move this weekend? He’s the only one I know with a truck…_

_Dawson: He’s planning on going to visit his mom this weekend…_

_S: are u going with him?_

_D: no… I want to be able to help u move.._

_S: u don’t have to… u should go with Casey…_

_D: shay… it’s fine…_

_S: why don’t u want to go?_

_D: we’ve been arguing a lot lately… it’s stupid_

_S: Gabs. It’s not stupid if it’s causing the two of u to fight… what r u arguing about?_

_D: kids..._

_S: what? I thought u both wanted them?_

_D: we do… it’s just that he wants to start now but I want to wait a couple of years first. I just became a firefighter! I’m still a candidate… there’s no way I can be pregnant and a candidate at the same time! He of all ppl should get that but I guess he doesn’t… I’m just afraid this is going to be our breaking point… ya know?_

_S: Idk what to say Gabs…_

_D: Ik… I just wish things were simple… I hate fighting with him…_

_S: I think everyone wishes things were simple…_

_D: yeah…._

_D: Casey just walked in. he said we could use his truck and he can just take my car to his mom… that good?_

_S: yes! Tell him I said thanks._

            Shay was bored now. Rafferty was at the firehouse covering a shift for one of the other paramedics. Luckily it was only a partial shift so she would be home for dinner. She was sitting on the couch watching TV, when she started thinking about things. She didn’t know if Rafferty wanted kids. Granted, they’ve only been together for a couple of months, but she wanted to spend the rest of her life with Allison, but if Allison didn’t want kids, then that might cause some problems. She didn’t know if she should bring it up now before things got a lot more serious than they already are, or just wait and see if Allison brought it up in the future. Just then Shay was brought out of her thoughts by her phone vibrating.

            _Rafferty. Hey beautiful… just checking in. I miss u like crazy._

_Shay: I miss u too… ur still gunna be home in a couple hrs right?_

_R: actually no._

            When Shay got that text she wasn’t sure if she should be upset or mad or both. Then she heard the door unlock and open and in walked Allison.

            “I left early.” Allison said. “I’m not feeling so hot.”

            “Well you look hot.” Shay smirked, earning a chuckle from Rafferty but then she winced. “What’s wrong?” Shay got up and walked over to Rafferty with a look of concern on her face.

            “Ok… so maybe I didn’t leave early. Boden sent me home.” Shay looked confused so Rafferty continued. “We were at a fire and some of the water froze and it was chaotic. I wasn’t paying attention and slipped on some ice and landed on a hose.”

            “What hurts?” Shay asks.

            “My ribs. I didn’t think a hose could hurt that bad, but damn landing on it while there was water going through it hurts.”

            “Take your shirt off. Let me see.” Allison gave her a look. “Allison I’m serious. Let me look.” Rafferty didn’t say anything and just lifted her shirt up enough so Shay could see the bruise that was forming. “Can you lift your arms up any higher?”

            “No. I went to the hospital and Kendra did some x-rays. It’s just really bruised. I’ll be fine.” As Rafferty finished her sentence, Shay leaned down and laid a feather light kisses on Allison’s bruised skin, sending a shiver down Allison’s spine. “If you’re going to do that, you better follow through.”

            “I don’t want to hurt you. I’ll stop. You should be laying down resting anyway.” Rafferty gave Shay a pouty face. “Come on. I’ll lay with you.”

            Lying in bed, Allison was snuggled into Shay’s side. “Did you talk to Dawson?”

            “Yeah. Casey’s going to visit his mom this weekend. He’s going to take Dawson’s car and Dawson’s going to have the truck.”

            “Why isn’t she going with him to his mom’s?”

            “That’s what I said!” Shay leaned down and kissed the top of Allison’s head, just because she could. “I guess they’ve been arguing a lot lately. Something about Casey wanting kids now but Gabs wants to wait until she’s not a candidate anymore. It’s seriously a repeat of a few years ago, but instead of it being Casey’s ex- fiancé Hallie, it’s Gabriela. I just hope it doesn’t cause them to split.”

            “I don’t get it. It’s such a dumb thing to fight about. They both want kids. Why can’t Casey just wait a year or two instead of causing a fight that could just make things end badly? Ya know?” Allison said.

            “Do you want kids? Obviously not now. I mean eventually?” Shay asked shyly.

            Allison sat up so she could look at Shay. “Honestly? I don’t know. Maybe? I’ve never thought of myself as the maternal type.” Allison leaned down and kissed Shay. “I’m assuming you want kids?” Shay just nodded. “I’m not going to be like Lt. Casey and cause a fight over something that could be easily solved.” Rafferty laid back down and snuggled into Shay’s side again. Rafferty thought Shay had fallen asleep. She looked up and saw that Leslie was staring at the ceiling with a pensive look on her face. “I was pregnant.” Allison said almost in a whisper.

            That broke Shay out of her thoughts. “What?”

            “I was pregnant just before my fiancé got sick. I was scared and not ready at all. I was had just started my internship at the hospital. I thought my career was going to be over.” Allison sighed. “To top it all off, I found out the week before that he had cheated on me. I was so mad at him that I didn’t want to be carrying his kid, but then I had a miscarriage and I was relieved. Then we found out he was sick. So I stuck by him until the end. The worst part was that I was almost relieved when he died. Part of it was because he was in so much pain and the other part was because I stayed with him because he had no one else. I was loved him, but the day I found out he cheated on me, I stopped being in love with him.” Allison was holding Shay tighter now. “Maybe it depends on the person? Maybe I wasn’t meant to have kids with him?”

            “I don’t know Sweetie. I really can’t give you the answer to that. I think only your heart can.”

            “I’m going to roll over and lay on my side. Can you be the big spoon tonight?” Allison asked.

            “Of course I can.” Shay said rolling over and wrapping her arm around Allison’s waist, being careful not to put pressure on Allison’s bruise. Shay kissed Rafferty just below her ear and whispered, “I’m never letting you go. Even if you tell me you don’t want kids.”


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

            As the weeks went on, Rafferty slowly transitioned back into her residency. Now two months in and she was in heaven both personally and professionally. Rafferty had thought that trying to balance a relationship with Shay and the wacky hours she had to put in at the hospital was going to put a strain on things. It was actually the complete opposite. They made the time for each other. Yes they were both career driven, but they weren’t going to let their careers interfere with the best relationship both of them have ever had.

            Shay’s birthday was only a few days away and Allison was stumped. She had no clue what to get her for her birthday. She was planning on dinner but she knew Shay wasn’t the type to go to fancy expensive restaurants. Rafferty couldn’t figure out if she wanted to do simple or creative and unique. She still didn’t even know what to get her for a gift. Earrings? A necklace? A ring? That one question has been floating around in her head for a couple weeks now. She didn’t know if it was too soon or not. They have been together for just over six months now. It’s not like they’ve just started dating. She didn’t even know if Shay was the type who wanted to get married, or at least wanted to marry her. Shay had pretty much said they were going to be together for the rest of their lives so wouldn’t it make sense to get married? Would it even matter if they were married or not anyway? Allison knew she needed to talk to the one person who would know Shay a little bit better than her.

            _Rafferty: can u swing by the hospital sometime today? Need ur opinion on something._

_Kelly: sure thing. Everything alright?_

_R: yeah. Everything perfect. Just wanna run something by u… can u not tell shay ur swinging by tho?_

_K: sure._

_R: thanks. Let me know when u get here so I can meet u…_

            When she was sitting in the cafeteria eating her lunch, her phone started ringing and she instantly got a smile on her face when she saw who was calling. “Hey Grams. How are you?”

            “Allison.” It was her Grandpa who was calling her. There was panic in his voice.

            “Grandpa? What’s wrong?” Allison was panicking now.

            “It’s your grandma. Something’s happened. I don’t know what’s wrong. I just found her lying on the floor in the kitchen. It’s like she passed out or fell or something. I don’t know!”

            “Ok. Where are you? Are you here at Chicago Med?” Allison said as she was standing up from the table she was sitting at.

            “Yes. I’m in the ER waiting area right now.”

            “Ok. Give me ten minutes to go find out what’s going on. Ok?” Allison was nearly running down the hall heading for the stairs. The elevators weren’t fast enough.

            When she got to the ER, she found Kendra doing CPR on Lucia. Instantly Allison just stopped in her tracks. She was frozen. She couldn’t go through this again. She couldn’t lose another important person in her life. Especially not her Grams. When she finally came to her senses she went over to the bed.

            “Kendra! That’s my grandma. What’s going on?” Allison asked pleadingly. Kendra didn’t even say a word. She just grabbed the paddles so she could shock her. One shock. Nothing. Another round of CPR. Another shock. Nothing. Another round of CPR and cardiac drugs. Another shock. Finally. There was a heartbeat.

            Finally Kendra acknowledged Rafferty. “She came in, in cardiac arrest.” Kendra paused before saying the next part. “Did you know she’s sick?”

            “What? Sick? No!” Allison could feel her world crashing down around her.

            “She’s been getting treated up in Oncology. I only know that because of her records on file we pulled when she came in. her initial diagnosis was stage three ovarian cancer. From the looks of things, it’s rapidly progressed.” Allison couldn’t listen anymore. She just took off running to the waiting room, stopping just outside the doors to text Shay.

            _Rafferty: I need you. Grams is in the ER._


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

            As soon as Shay got the text from Allison, she went flying down to the Chief’s office and didn’t even give him time to tell her was ok to go. She just told him that Allison’s grandma was in the hospital and that Allison needed her. It was only when he told her he would take her that she even realized she was all over the place.

            “Don’t worry about work, Shay. I’ll get coverage for you as long as you need if it’s necessary.” Boden said. “Although I hope it won’t be.” Shay just gave a nod to acknowledge him. They were flying down the streets of Chicago, lights and sirens. Even if it was a breach of protocol, using them for personal reasons, Boden didn’t care at all. He had more pressing things to deal with than some protocol.

            Shay tried calling Rafferty for the third time in the last ten minutes since she got the text, and it just rang until it went to voicemail. She didn’t know if it was a good or bad sign that Rafferty wasn’t picking up.

            They made it to the hospital in just over five minutes and Shay was out of the Chief’s car before it was even to a complete stop. As soon as she got into the emergency room, was about to go to the desk when she glanced in the waiting area and saw Allison and her grandpa sitting. Neither of them were paying attention, they were lost in thought. Shay slowly approached Rafferty so she wouldn’t scare her and squatted down in front of her, putting her hands on Rafferty’s knees. The second Shay made contact, Allison practically launched herself at Shay, throwing her arms around Shay’s neck. Allison was trying to stay strong for as long as she could, but the second Shay was there, she broke down.

            It took a few minutes for Rafferty to calm down enough to explain what had happened. Shay couldn’t believe what she was hearing. Just the thought of Allison possibly having to go through losing her grandma was making her upset. Shay just held her, while Allison’s ear was resting on Shay’s chest, listening to the calming beats of Shay’s heartbeat.

            No one really knew what was going on since Rafferty ran from the ER to the waiting area, so as much as Shay didn’t want to leave Allison, she wanted Shay to go find Kendra so she can find out what was going on; what would happen from here.

            Shay found Kendra quickly when she went back into the emergency room. “Kendra.”

            She got Kendra’s attention and the look on her face told Shay there wasn’t going to be any good news. “Shay.” She just shook her head. “We’re doing everything we can to make her comfortable. She’s been in and out of consciousness and asking for Allison. Oncology admitted her upstairs, but there isn’t much else they can do. She has a couple days, a week if she’s lucky left.”

            “Oh god. I don’t think she’s going to be able to handle this Kendra. They were so close to each other! This isn’t fair.” Shay was crying now, voice breaking as she talked. “I’m going to go upstairs. Can you go to the waiting area and tell her and her grandpa?” Kendra just nodded and gave Shay a hug before they went their separate ways.

            When Shay walked into Lucia’s room, she broke down herself. She sat down in the chair next to the hospital bed and held Lucia’s hand. She sat in silence for a minute or two before she heard Lucia say her name in a whispered voice.

            “Hey. Allison’s going to be here any second. Save your strength for her.” Lucia just gave her a soft hum. Shay continued to talk though. “There’s things I need to tell you. You need to know before you… go. I love your granddaughter Grams. She’s amazing and smart and funny. I want to ask her to marry me. I don’t know when, but sometime in the near future. I can’t wait any longer Grams. I just want Allison to be my wife already.” Lucia just gave another soft hum and squeezed Shay’s hand. “I know it hasn’t been long, but it feels right.” Shay glanced out the door and saw Allison and her grandpa coming down the hall with Kendra. Shay just stood up and kissed Lucia on the forehead and met Allison at the door. She wanted to give Allison some time alone, but she wasn’t going to go too far, but she knew she needed coffee, so she went down to the cafeteria.

            After Shay got her coffee she turned around and saw Severide sitting at a table. She was confused so she went over to him. “What are you doing here?” Shay asked.

            Severide looked up and knew instantly from the look on Shay’s face that something was wrong. “Shay. What’s wrong?”

            “Allison’s grandma… she only—she’s—cancer—cardiac arrest—a couple—days.” That was the only thing Severide could understand from what Shay said. He now had his arms around her and she was sobbing.

            “Shhh. I’ve got you. We’ll figure things out. Where’s Allison now?” Severide asked when he thought Shay was calmed down enough to speak.

            “Upstairs. With Lucia. God Kelly, she’s a mess. They’re so close! Allison didn’t even know she was sick!” Shay wiped her eyes on her sleeve. “I can’t think about this right now. Tell me why you’re here.”

            “Honestly? I don’t know. Raff text me this morning and asked me to swing by when I had a chance. I don’t know what for though.”

            “Well I have no clue either. Whatever it is though is probably going on the back burner for a little while anyway.” Severide just nodded. “I don’t know how to help her though this.”

            “You’re just going to have to be there for her. Even if she tries to push you away, you stay. When she’s crying, you hold her. There isn’t a book on how to help someone though this. It depends on the person. She’s going to be mad and upset and she might say things she doesn’t mean and that’ll hurt. You can’t let them affect you. She loves you way too much to want to lose you but grief has a funny way of doing things. You’re just going to have to take it a day at a time.” Severide said.

            “When you’re mom died… how did you deal with it?” Shay was curious and Kelly knew she was asking out to get an idea of what was going to happen.

            “I was still in high school when it happened. I didn’t want to be around anyone. I was angry all the time. Eventually I worked though things and accepted what happened but sometimes it still hurts.” Shay was about to say something else when her phone went off in her pocket. She pulled it out and saw it was a text from Allison.

            _Rafferty: where’d u go?_

_Shay: cafeteria. Got coffee. U or ur grandpa want some?_

_R: yes please… we both need it._

_S: I ran into Kelly. He was sitting here… waiting for u?_

_R: SHIT!! Tell him I will talk to him when I get a chance._

_S: u got it. Give me ten mins and I’ll be right up. I love you._

_R: I love you too._

            “Rafferty said she will talk to you about whatever it was she needs to talk to you about when she gets a chance.” Shay said to Severide.

            “It’s ok. I kind of have an idea what she wants to talk to me about but I don’t want to say anything just in case it isn’t what I think it is.”

            “Fair enough. I need to get coffee for Allison and her grandpa before I head back upstairs. Do you want to go with me?” Shay asked.

            “It’s ok. I’m just going to go.”

            Shay got the coffees and headed back. When she got close to the room though, she heard a few noises she didn’t want to hear and wasn’t expecting yet.


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

            _Dawson: how’s she doing?_

_Shay: Idk... she’s just lying I bed. Only really comes out to pee or get something to eat or drink. She won’t talk to me._

_D: it’s her way of processing and coping…_

_S: I know… I just wish I could take her pain away…_

_D: do u need anything?_

_S: no… I’m good… I’m just going to go try and lay down with her and just hold her._

            It’s been three weeks to the day. The day Allison’s whole world fell apart. She had been expecting at least another day with Lucia, but then her heart failed and they couldn’t get her back. Shay had been by her side the whole entire time since then.

            Shay went into their room and laid on her back on the bed. She was letting Allison decide what she wanted. Instantly Allison rolled over and buried her face into Shay’s neck and wrapped tangled her legs with Shay’s and put her arm over Shay’s waist. Shay just held her and let her cry.

            Rafferty calmed down enough to talk, but what came out of her mouth shocked Shay. “When I was a sophomore in high school, I was really depressed. The whole bisexual thing threw me for a loop and I was scared and had no one to talk to about it. It got to the point where I tried killing myself.”

            “I don’t know what to say honey.” Shay said, kissing the top of Allison’s head.

            “I don’t like keeping things from you. It was just something I wanted to share with you.” Rafferty squeezed Shay’s middle.

            “You can’t get mad at me for what I’m about to ask you. I’m only asking because I love you and I need to know. Ok?” Rafferty just nodded. “You’re not… you didn’t tell me because you want to try it again do you?”

            Rafferty sat up completely in bed, still looking at Shay. “No. absolutely not. The pain I’m going through right now? I don’t want you to have to experience it.” Allison go up off the bed and went to her dresser, pulling something out of one of the drawers. “We didn’t get to celebrate your birthday.” Allison said when she turned around.

            “It’s ok. I told you that already.” Shay said sitting up.

            “I know. I had this whole thing planned though. Romantic dinner. Going wherever you wanted for dessert.” Allison walked over to Shay and sat down in front of her. “I had it all planned because I was going to give you this.” Allison showed her the small box she had in her hand. “Granted I didn’t have this then, but last week when you were grocery shopping, I was lying in bed messing around on the computer when I had the idea to look for the present I wanted to get you. So I searched and searched until I found what I wanted and I ordered it and had it sent to Kelly’s so you wouldn’t find it. He brought with him the other day when he came by.” Allison took Shay’s hand as she slid off the bed to kneel in front of her. “I never thought I would ever be able to do this. I never thought I was going to have the chance to love you completely and openly. We have had that chance now, and the last seven months have shown me how much to cherish the things I love. I know Grams wouldn’t want me to put this off any longer. I told her that I wanted to do this a couple the week before everything happened and she was so excited.” They both smiled through the tears they both had running down their cheeks. “So I’m not putting it off any longer. I know it isn’t how I wanted it to be but its ok.” Allison took a deep breath before continuing. “Leslie Shay, I love you. More than I ever thought I could love someone. I know we already pretty much said we are forever, but I want it all. The commitment. The rings. The ceremony. A house with a tree fort and a tire swing. I want to be able to call you my wife and for it to be official.” Allison opened the ring box, producing a beautiful ring. “Will you marry me?” Shay didn’t say anything. She just lunged forward and tackled Allison to the ground and attacked her with kisses. “I know it’s not a traditional engagement ring, but I wanted to get you one that you didn’t have to take off for work.” Allison said when Shay finally stopped attacking her with kisses.

            “I love it Allison. It’s perfect.” Shay kissed her again. “Why is it that every time one of us decides to do something, it’s you who always manages to beat me to it?” Shay chuckled. “I had wanted to kiss you since the second I woke up in the hospital, and you beat me to that. Then I was going to talk to you about moving in and you beat me to the punch with that.” Shay got up and went to her bag sitting on the chair in the corner of the room. “Then I was planning on proposing and oh look.” Shay pulled a ring box out of her bag. “You beat me to that too and you had the same idea I did.” Shay knelt down in front of Rafferty, who was still on the floor, sitting now though, and opened the ring box. “I’ll marry you, if you’ll marry me.” Allison took the ring for Shay out of the box and slipped it on to Shay’s hand. Shay did the same thing to Allison.

            “We’re getting married.” Allison said in a soft almost whispery voice.

            “I know. You coming into my life and affecting me the way you did was unexpected, but I am so glad it happened.” Shay leaned in and kissed Allison. When the kissing started heating up, they both somehow managed to get off the floor enough to remove clothes and get on the bed.


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

            Asking Shay to marry her helped Rafferty get out of the funk she was in and want to go back to work. Don’t let her fool you though. She was still grieving. She just was out of the stage where she stayed in bed all day. Allison’s grandpa called the next morning to check in.

            “Hi grandpa. How are you?” Allison asked.

            “I’m ok. How about you?” Allison’s grandpa asked.

            “I’m good. So… guess what I finally did last night.” Allison’s grandpa knew about her wanting to propose. Lucia wasn’t good at keeping things to herself so she had to tell someone.

            “You did it, didn’t you? You finally proposed?”

            “I did. The funny thing is, Shay was planning on proposing soon too.” Allison sighed. “I just wish I had done it sooner. So grams would have been here to see it.”

            “I know sweetheart. I know. She would want you to be happy. And that’s what you’re doing. That’s all she ever wanted.”

            Allison and her grandpa had talked for a little bit longer. She had gotten up early and wanted to let Shay sleep so she got up and laid on the couch and watched TV. That was when her grandpa had called. Now, she was going back to their room so she could lay back down next to Shay until she woke up.

            Except, when she walked into the room Shay was wide awake, looking at her ring. “Damn it. I was hoping you’d still be asleep when I came back in.” Allison said as she climbed back into bed.

            “It’s ok. Why are you up so early though?” Shay asked.

            “I couldn’t sleep and I didn’t want to wake you up. So I went out to the living room and watched TV. Then my grandpa called and I just go off the phone with him.” Rafferty laid her head on Shay’s shoulder, wrapping herself around Shay.

            “How’s he doing?”

            “He seems ok. He’s so excited that we’re getting married though. He wanted me to tell you he said congratulations and he can’t wait for the wedding.”

            “I can’t wait either. We could go elope right now, you know. Save us time and money.” Shay said jokingly, kissing the top of Rafferty’s head.

            “Very funny. We both know that everyone at the firehouse will kill us if they’re not there when we get married and I’m pretty sure Dawson would disown you if she wasn’t your maid of honor.”

            “Who would you have as your maid of honor?” Shay asked curiously.

            “Honestly, I don’t know. Most of my friends I acquired because they were friends with Jason. I don’t talk to them very much anymore now.” Allison said with a bit of sadness in her voice.

            “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you sad. I was just curious and I didn’t think.” Shay was cut off by Allison kissing her.

            “Sweetie. You’re can ask me those things. We’re planning a wedding, our wedding.” Allison said with a smile. It still felt surreal that they were engaged.

            “I can’t believe we’re engaged. I mean I can, but I can’t, you know? Do you want to start planning the wedding now or do you want to just enjoy it for a little bit and then start planning?”

            “Honestly, with our schedules and everything, I think we should start planning now. That way we can pace ourselves and not stress. It’ll give us a few months too.”

            “When do you want to get married? And please don’t tell me the middle of winter because I don’t think I can wait a whole year for you to be my wife.” Shay said, smiling when she said wife.

            “I was thinking somewhere between late September and mid-October. That way it’s fall but still kind of warm too.” Allison said down at Shay. She was leaning on her elbow and laying on her side facing Shay.

            “I like that idea. And it gives us six months to plan.” Shay went to give Allison a quick kiss, but Allison had other ideas and pulled shay down on top of her as she laid down on her back, resulting in a heated make out session, until they were interrupted by Shay’s phone ringing. It was Kelly.

            “Yes Kelly?” Allison said when she answered Shay’s phone. She had been closer to it.

            “I kind of need to talk to Shay. Is she there? I’m assuming she’s there because you answered her phone. Can you just get her?” Severide said in a nervous hurried voice.

            “Hang on.” Allison said turning to Shay and covering the phone so Severide couldn’t hear her talking. “He’s rambling and it sounds like he’s nervous or panicking or both.”

            Shay took the phone from her. “Hey. What’s going on?” Shay didn’t want to sound like she was worried.

            “I’m freaking out Leslie! Erin thinks she’s pregnant. She’s like a week late or something and she really didn’t think anything of it at first because I guess sometimes it’s all messed up when she’s stress or something. But then yesterday she said she wasn’t feeling good and was nauseous and then this morning she was too.” Kelly would have kept going if Shay hadn’t interrupted.

            “Whoa. Kelly slow down. Take a deep breath. Would it be a bad thing if she was?”

            “I don’t know. That’s the thing. We haven’t been together that long and I just started thinking about asking her to move in since she spends most of her time here anyway. Isn’t it too soon?”

            “Kelly Severide. Stop freaking out. You guys have been together for just as long as me and Allison and I’m already living with her and we’re getting married. It’s all about what’s right for you ok?”

            “I guess you’re right. It’s actually not that bad if she is. I can actually see a future with her.” Kelly finally started to calm down and Shay could tell he had a smile on his face just thinking about what a future with Erin would be like.

            “And you will be an awesome dad. And I’m sure your kids will grow up to either be a firefighter or a cop or they’ll take after their Aunty Shay or Aunty Allison and be a paramedic or doctor.” Shay had a smile on her face now.

            “Thanks Leslie. I have to go. Erin’s leaving work earlier so we can go see her doctor and find out if she is or not.” With that they said bye and hung up.

            “So Erin’s pregnant? What’s with all this baby talk lately! Not that it’s a bad thing.” Allison said.

            “She might be. Hang on though.” As if on cue her phone rang again.

            “What do you mean you and Allison are getting married?” Kelly said as soon as Shay picked up.

            “She asked me to marry her last night.” Shay said looking down at the ring on her finger.

            “Well that’s awesome but now I really have to go. We can talk about everything later. We can go to Molly’s?”

            “Sounds good.” Shay said hanging up again and turning to Allison. “They’re going to the doctors now I guess to find out. I have to be at Molly’s tonight anyway so he said they’re going to stop by. You want to come with me?” Allison hadn’t really been out socially since before Lucia passed away. Shay didn’t want to push her to go though.

            “Sure. Yeah. I want to be there when everyone sees our rings. Especially Dawson.” Allison said giving Shay a kiss. “Come shower with me. Then we can go get breakfast and go grocery shopping. Then we can come back here and do whatever until we have to head to Molly’s. How’s that sound?” Allison stood up and headed for the bathroom.

            “You had me at shower.” Shay said getting up from the bed and chasing Allison down the hall and into the bathroom, pinning her against the wall and kissing her as she took off her clothes.

            They had somehow made it out of the apartment to get breakfast before it turned to lunchtime. They’re little shower sexcapade made showering a lot longer than it should have.

            After breakfast and grocery shopping and taking care of the groceries, they laid down on the couch with a movie playing in the background as they talked.

            “Last night, when you proposed, you said you wanted a house with a tree fort and a tire swing. Did you mean what I think you meant?” Shay asked suddenly. The thought at popped in her head and she had blurted it out.

            “Well I don’t want the tree fort or the tire swing for me and you.” Allison said with a smile and a chuckle. “I think even if right now I feel like I wouldn’t be a great mom, you could show me how to be. Or the second I see our baby, the maternal instincts would kick in. I’ve seen you with Hermann’s son. You’re going to be great mom. So when the time comes, I’ll be ok with having kids. You have to carry the first one though because I kind of like the idea of me having to take care of you and talking to your belly.” They both chuckled.

            “The first one huh? How many are you planning on us having?” Shay asked amused.

            “At least two. That way you can carry one and I can carry one.”

            “I like that idea.” Shay said leaning in to kiss Allison. 


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13

            When Rafferty and Shay got to Molly’s that evening, Hermann was already there getting ready to open.

            “Rafferty!” Hermann said as soon as he looked up and saw them walking through the door. He instantly pulled Allison into a hug. “I’m glad you’re here. I’m sorry about your grandma. From what I’ve heard, she was a pretty awesome lady.”

            “Thanks Hermann.” Allison said when she pulled away from the hug. Then she tucked her hair behind her ear with her left hand. “Wait a minute! What is that?”

            “What do you think it is Christopher?” Shay said sarcastically.

            “When did that happen?” Hermann asked.

            “Last night. Allison proposed to me. I was planning on doing it soon but she beat me to it.”

            “Well congratulations!” Hermann said as he pulled them both into a semi awkward group hug. “Who else knows?”

            “Severide. Oh and my grandpa.” Allison said. “Is Dawson going to be mad she wasn’t the first to know?”  
            “Nah. She’ll be too excited to even care.” Shay said looking at Allison.

            “Well I think we need to do a round of shots to celebrate.” Hermann interrupted as we was walking back around the bar to grab shot glasses and tequila.

            They all did a couple rounds of shots, but stopped when Severide and Erin came in. Severide had a grin on his face and Shay couldn’t tell if it was because the appointment went well or for some other odd reason. Shay didn’t want to say anything in front of Hermann just in case it turned out that Erin wasn’t really pregnant, but Shay

            Severide and Erin just walked over to the bar and sat down. He reached into the pocket and pulled something out and handed it to Shay.

            Looking down at what was in her hands, Shay looked up and said, “So I guess you won’t be drinking with us for a while?” Shay, Allison, Severide, and Erin all had huge smiles on their faces.

            “Looks like it.” Erin said.

            “Wait a minute what did I miss?” Hermann said. Shay just slid the ultrasound picture over to him. “Oh boy. A little Severide’s going to be running around here soon?”

            “Actually Hermann, there’s going to be two.” Hermann, Shay and Allison all looked at the picture again. And there it was in black and white, the words twin A and twin B. Shay missed it when she first looked.

            “Well this deserves a toast.” Hermann said pulling out the tequila again. “Erin, what would you like to drink?”

            “Apple juice! If you have any please.” Erin really liked apple juice.

            “Here you go.” Hermann said handing everyone a shot glass and Erin her shot of apple juice. “To Severide and Erin and the healthy babies growing in her stomach!” everyone just chuckled. Before everyone could take their shots Severide interjected.

            “To Shay and Rafferty. To a long and happy marriage.” With that everyone took their shots.

            When Dawson and Casey got to Molly’s, Severide practically ran up to them to show them the ultrasound picture. They all talked for a little while before Dawson excused herself and went over to Shay, who was behind the bar.

            “So Severide’s going to be a dad? That’s going to be interesting.” Dawson said.

            “Yeah, but he’s going to be amazing at it so it’s be ok.” Shay said. Then her look turned more serious. “So I have something to tell you.” Shay had kept her hands hidden from Dawson since she saw her walking towards her.

            “What’s with the face? Are you and Raff fighting?” Dawson said, genuinely concerned.

            “No. it’s just that…” Shay pulled her left hand out from behind her back. “We’re getting married!”

            Dawson grabbed her hand and pulled it closer to her so she could get a better look. “You finally proposed?”

            “Actually Allison beat me to it last night, but it’s all good.” Shay said with a huge grin on her face.

            “Details. You have to tell me everything!”

            “There isn’t much to tell. I went and laid down with her, she cried a little, got up and got the ring out of her dresser, and said she wanted everything. The commitment, the rings, the house with a tree fort and tire swing, and then popped the question. Then I may have tackled her to the ground like a linebacker and kissed her.”

            “Well I am really happy for you.” Dawson said. “I get to be your maid of honor right?”

            “Do you even have to ask that?”


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14

            The next morning, Shay and Allison were lying in bed having a lazy day. It was finally a day they both had off and didn’t have to go anywhere; not even to Molly’s. They just spent the day talking about everything and snuggling and watching TV.

            It wasn’t until the afternoon did either one get out of bed, but that was only because Shay’s phone was ringing and it was on her dresser on the other side of the room. When she looked at the screen to see who was calling her stomach dropped. It was the one person she wished would never contact her again.

            “Seriously? What the hell?” Shay semi mumbled to herself.

            “Who is it?” Allison asked. Shay just handed her, her phone. By now the phone had stopped ringing but Allison had pulled up Shay’s missed calls so she could see. “Clarice? Who’s Clarice?”

            “Remember when I told you that my last serious girlfriend just up and left? That would be her?” Shay said as she got back into bed.

            “Do you know why she’s calling?” Allison asked curiously. She didn’t want to get mad or upset if Shay had no clue.

            “No idea. I mean I’m sure I could come up with some reasons why she would be calling me now, but I’m not going to talk to her. She’s not putting me through her shit again.” Shay was starting to get mad now and it was a side Allison hasn’t seen yet. Now Shay’s phone was ringing again. “For fucks sake! Does she not get the hint?”

            “I can answer it if you want. Maybe she’ll get the hint then?” Shay just nodded. “Hello?”

            “Oh. Sorry. I think I have the wrong number.” Clarice said on the other end.

            “Actually, you don’t this is Shay’s phone.” Allison said with a little sarcasm.

            “Oh. Well who are you? Why are you answering her phone?” Clarice asked.

            “I’m answering her phone because she asked me to. She doesn’t want to talk to you. She actually said she doesn’t want you to put her through your shit again and as her fiancée, I don’t want you to either.” Allison was not happy with this woman.

            “Fiancée huh? Good luck with that one. Shay’s never been good with commitment.” Clarice was trying to cause trouble now. “Why don’t you just ask her? I’m sure she’ll tell you all about how she didn’t want to settle down.”

            “How about no? I’m pretty sure she wouldn’t have bought me a ring if she wasn’t ready to settle down. So maybe you were the problem. How about you not call her again and leave her the fuck alone?” Allison didn’t give her time to answer and just hung up.

            “What did she say?” Shay asked.

            “I think she was trying to cause trouble. She was saying that you weren’t good with commitment and you didn’t want to settle down.” Shay had a weird look on her face. “What with the face?”

            “She’s kind of right. At the time, when her and I were together, I wasn’t ready to settle down. I was only 25. I wasn’t ready to be tied down. I thought she understood, then a year and a half later, she just up and left while I was on shift.” Shay wouldn’t look Allison in the eyes. She was afraid she was going to say something dumb.

            “Well obviously something changed because I’m sure you wouldn’t have bought me a ring or thought of proposing if you weren’t ready.” Allison took Shay’s hands and Shay finally looked up.

            “What changed was that I changed. I finally found someone who understands me and the danger that I could possibly be in when I’m at work. It doesn’t take a lot of work to be with you. We don’t fight that often and if we do, it’s something ridiculously dumb and one of us is just in a bad mood, but then a couple hours later we’re fine and go back to not being able to keep our hands off each other.” They both chuckled. “I’m just glad you didn’t get instantly mad as soon as you knew who she was.”

            “It wasn’t worth getting mad over. I could see how annoyed you were that she was calling anyway.” Allison said as she leaned in to give Shay a kiss.

            A couple hours later, they were both in the kitchen, Shay sitting at the breakfast bar and Rafferty standing in front of the stove cooking. They had been talking about the wedding most day. It was mostly little things though.

            Allison turned around and went and sat next to Shay while the food simmered. “So even before I proposed, I was thinking about things and I was curious, what are we going to do about names?”

            “Like our last names?” Allison just nodded. “Well it depends. I don’t like the idea of hyphenating them.”  
            “I don’t either. I guess what I’m trying to say, well ask I guess, is if you would be ok with me taking your last name.” Allison said shyly. She wasn’t sure if Shay was going to hate the idea so she was looking down at her hands in her lap when she asked. “I mean, if you hate the idea then I won’t. We could just…” She was cut off by Shay’s lips on her own. Shay was kissing her with so much love and passion and didn’t break the kiss until oxygen was necessary.

            “Honey, if you want to take my last name, then you can take my last name. I love the idea.” Shay gave Allison a quick kiss. “Can I ask you something?”

            “You know you can ask me anything you want.” Allison said, running her index finger along the knuckles of Shay’s hand.

            “Have you talked to your parents? Do they know about me or that we’re getting married? We never talked about our families before and the only things I know are that your mom’s a nurse and your dad is a lawyer and that you have four siblings.”

            Allison took a deep breath before she spoke. “My dad was an amazing criminal lawyer. There was this one case about three years ago. It was my last year of med school, just before graduation, Jason had just proposed. My dad was representing this gangster that was obviously guilty, but my dad just did his job, but the jury found the guy guilty. The damn gangster didn’t like that and had a group of his buddies go after my dad.” Allison was fighting through the tears so she could finish telling Shay everything. “A few days after the trial, my parents were driving home with my two younger brothers in the car when they were t-boned, kind of like how you were in the ambulance…” Allison had to stop for a moment to calm down a little bit. “But their car was small and the vehicle that hit them was this big SUV. The impact caused the car to roll down an embankment hard and into a tree. The only one who made it to the hospital was my baby brother. He was six at the time. He little body fought to stay alive, but it couldn’t take the stress any longer and passed away two days after the accident.” Shay had no clue that any of that could have been possible, but now she understood how tough the woman she loves is.

            Shay just leaned over and turned off the stove then wrapped Allison in her arms and pulled her tight to her chest, not letting go until Allison’s breathing calmed down. “What about your two other siblings?” Shay asked finally.

            “They’re older. My sister lives in Toronto with her husband and my brother lives in Los Angeles. We were never that close. Especially after I told them I was bisexual. They didn’t even like that my grandparents were ok with it, that’s why they didn’t come to Grams funeral.” Allison still had her head against Shay’s chest, listening to the beat of Shay’s heart.

            They just sat like that at the breakfast bar for a little while until Shay spoke. “I love you. And I wish none of that had happened to you. I hate it when you’re hurting. All I want to do is take the pain away and I honestly don’t know how.” Shay kissed the top of Allison’s head.  
            “You’re doing it right now. You just holding me and letting me cry and tell you everything helps more than you could ever think it would.” Allison lifted her head of Shay’s chest so she could give Shay a kiss. “Can we talk about something else that’s less depressing now? How about your family? Tell me about them.”

            “There really isn’t much to tell. My dad was a Bioengineer and my mom is an Archeologist. My dad took a leave of absence a few years ago to follow my mom around the world while she did her archeological stuff and they spend most of their time over in Eastern Europe and Asia. I don’t see them much, but I get the occasional postcard from wherever they are. I’ll send them emails when I need to and they eventually get them.” Shay said with a chuckle. “So I pretty much just have my firehouse family and you and I’m ok with that. They’re doing what they love. I would never think of getting in the way of that.”

            “Are you going to invite them to the wedding?” Allison asked.

            “As soon as we set a date, I’m going to send them another email and tell them when it is and hope they make it.”

            “Well I hope they do. I really would love to meet them.” Allison said as she pulled Shay into a heated kiss, the thought of dinner long forgotten when she lifted Shay up and carried her back to their room. 


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15

            Allison returned to work the week after proposing to Shay, and she was really happy to be back. She finally had accepted that Lucia wasn’t coming back , and yeah sure she missed her all the time, but sitting around all day when she knew her grandma would be kicking her ass for not getting back to normal. She had her days still where she wanted to hurt one of the interns over something silly because she was having a bad day.

            Shay had thought that Dawson and Allison needed to get to know each other better because the only things Dawson really knew about Rafferty was all the things that had happen when she first got to 51 and they weren’t good things. So now two months later, the girls were sitting in the cafeteria of the hospital having lunch together.

            “You know, this was a good idea, the three of us having lunch together.” Dawson said. She has been filling in as a Paramedic the past week because Shay’s new partner was out with a broken ankle and Gabby didn’t mind being back in the Ambulance for a little bit.  

            “It really was. Now you know why I love her so much.” Shay said. “And it gives me a reason to see my lovely soon to be wife more.”

            “I am not complaining.” Allison interjected. “I just can’t believe it’s May already. I love that it’s so nice out and warm. That damn polar vortex was brutal. I really hope it isn’t like that next winter.”

            “I just want it to be October 18th already. The wait is killing me.” Shay said dramatically.

            “It’ll be here quicker than you think. Then you’ll be Mrs. and Mrs. Shay.” Dawson said. “Besides I’m more worried about Erin going into labor early. Obviously it wouldn’t be a bad thing, it would just change things.”

            “I’m not too worried. If it happens then it happens. We can figure it out if or when the time comes.” Shay said. “Ooh! So, the other day, Severide came in late for shift because Erin had a doctor’s appointment, and he was such a dork. He was like Hermann when Cindy was pregnant with their first kid, but like ten times worse.”

            Dawson interjected. “Jones asked him if we were going to have to throw him a baby shower too. It was meant as a joke, but Kelly thought it was the best thing in the world. So apparently we’re going to be throwing him a little baby shower at the station in a few months before the babies come.” As much as Allison loved her residency, she missed the firehouse a little bit. She stopped by when Shay was on shift to hang out and she actually cooked for them sometimes. A skill no one at the 51, besides Shay, knew she had.

            “Well that will be fun. I can only imagine what the guys will plan.” Allison said as Shay and Dawson radio started talking, telling them they had a call. “And it looks like duty calls.”

            “I love you. I’ll see you when you get home tonight.” Shay said standing up and kissing Allison before she walked away with Dawson.

            “I love you too. And be careful.” Allison replied.

            The call was for a large apartment fire a few miles down the road from the hospital. When they got on scene, multiple stations were already there working on getting the hoses connected to the hydrants and people out of the building. Everyone from Truck 81 and Squad 3 were in the building helping the people who were trapped. After about fifteen minutes, they had the building cleared and were about to start making their ways out of the building, when there was a large explosion two floors above and Boden was yelling into the radio telling them to get out of there now.

            When some of them made it outside, they looked to see who hadn’t come out yet. Severide, Jones, Casey, and Capp were still in the building. Severide was yelling into the radio telling them that Casey was hurt and unconscious and Jones was pinned under a beam and was also unconscious and Capp had dislocated his shoulder. They all rushed back in to help.

            They got Casey out, but he had a severe head injury and when Shay and Dawson got him on the backboard, he started seizing and they were still working on getting Jones unpinned. Shay and Dawson didn’t have time to wait and see what happened with Jones, so they loaded Casey into the ambulance and Shay jumped into the driver’s seat and Dawson and Severide got into the back. It only took a few minutes to get to Chicago Med.

            When they got to the hospital, they were met at the entrance by an Neuro. Surgeon, and orthopedic surgeon, a couple of surgical residents, one of them being Allison.

            Shay explained to them what happened and the three of them just watched them work on Casey in the Trauma room until they had him stable enough to take him up to surgery, which only took a few minutes. As doctors were getting on the elevator with Casey, another ambulance was finally bringing in Jones. It took one look and they knew it was bad.

 


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter 16

            The members of firehouse 51, and Allison, were all sitting in the waiting area. As soon as Allison knew Casey was stabilized enough to be brought up to surgery, she stayed with everyone else. Allison knew she wouldn’t have been able to be in there, to potentially assist with the surgery, because it was Casey, a former co-worker, and a friend. And if something were to happen while she was in there, she wouldn’t handle any of it. So she stayed.

            Now she was sitting in between Shay and Dawson. Allison was holding Shay’s hand with one hand, and had a crying Dawson wrapped in her other arm. Similar to how she was when Shay was in the hospital months ago.

            No one knew if Jones was alive or not either. The only thing Allison could find out was that there was massive internal bleeding, and a severed femoral artery from her broken femur in her leg. They had rushed her to surgery as soon as she arrived in the hospital so they could try and repair the artery before she bleed out and her heart stopped.

            It wasn’t until hours later did they finally see a doctor come in to update them. Casey had suffered such a massive head injury that they were still unsure if he was going to make it, but they had gotten the brain swelling to stop and they put him into a medically induced coma. Everyone could breathe just very tiny bit better now.

It wasn’t until a half an hour later that they finally found out about Jones. They had successfully repaired the severed artery and internal bleeding. It was also likely that she would never be able to walk again.

Shay had walked with Dawson down to Matt’s room after he was brought to the intensive care unit and left her to sit with him for a little while. Shay was having a hard time wrapping her brain around any of it. She understood that there were risks involved with the job, but she didn’t actually get it until now.

“If he doesn’t make it, Gabby is going to be shattered.” Shay said as she sat down next to Allison in the waiting area. “It kind of gives all a reality check, you know? Like it makes us all realize we’re not invincible. It’s scary to think about.”

“We’ll help her get through this though. Whatever the outcome is, if he makes it or not, it’s still going to be a long road ahead.” Allison looked down at their joined hands as she rubbed her thumb over Shay’s knuckles. “I’ve been in her position before, and it helps having support and someone to tell you to go home to shower or eat or sleep. So we’ll get her through this no matter what.”

“I love you. And I love that you are so calm and rational about this whole thing. It makes it easier for me to think rationally and not freak out. Speaking about not freaking out, has Rebecca’s family come yet?”

“I have no clue. I know Boden called her father, but that was as soon as he got here. It doesn’t take hours to get here.” Allison said. “Do you want to go down to her room and see how she is?”

“I wouldn’t mind that actually. I don’t think her dad is going to show up any time soon, and if she wakes up today, she shouldn’t wake up alone.” Shay said as she stood up still holding Allison’s hand.

“You go ahead of me and I’ll meet you there. I’m going to go change out of these scrubs and into street clothes. My shift’s been over for a few hours already anyway.”  She kissed Shay and started walking away before she was pulled back for another kiss. “I won’t take long. I love you.”

Shay couldn’t believe that once again the firehouse was turned upside down. It’s one thing to have one member in the hospital, but two puts an emotional strain on everyone a lot more. To top it all off, Jones’ career as a firefighter, something she’s has wanted her whole life, is probably over.


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter 17

            As the weeks went by, Jones adjusted to her new life not being able to walk and not being able to fight fires. Casey still hadn’t woken up and it was possible he might never wake up. Rafferty and Shay had been by both Dawson and Jones’ sides helping them with whatever they needed.

            Shay and Rafferty were never close to Jones, but they were all one big dysfunctional family and when one of the members of your family is hurt, you step up, and that’s what they did. Shay and Allison were both stressed though. Between the wedding fastly approaching and going between making sure Dawson is eating and drinking and sleeping, and visiting Jones, they had had no time to themselves

            “Guys, go home. Have a night to yourselves.” Jones said. “I’m sure Dawson will say the same thing.”

            “It’s fine. Really.” Allison said. Shay nodding in agreement.

            “No it isn’t! If you’re not working you’re here. You have had no time together. Go home. Sleep. Have sex! Have a meal together that isn’t take out. I know Allison cooks like a badass so you have no excuse.” Jones argued.

            “Are you sure?” Shay asked. Jones just nodded. “Fine. I could go for some of Allison’s spaghetti. Call us if you needed anything.”

            When Shay and Allison go back to their apartment, Shay collapsed on to the couch and Allison just snuggled into Shay’s side. They were both exhausted, but they both very much realized that they hadn’t actually had sex since the night before the fire and that was 6 weeks ago. They had put their friends first, but tonight it was about them. They needed it.

            “Do you think Casey’s going to make it?” Shay asked. “Honestly. I need to know.”

            Allison just sighed. “I think that there’s a very slim chance he’s going to wake up. The neuro surgeon, Dr. Ramierz, said that he isn’t improving. I don’t want to believe her, but I think it’s a real possibility.”

            “How much longer do you think until we will know?” Shay asked.

            “A few days maybe. He’s still not breathing on his own. If the tests come back and they show no signs of brain activity, Dawson’s going to have to decide if she wants to take him off life support.”

            “Ok no more talking about this. I know it sounds selfish but tonight needs to be about us. We need to just not think about anything going on outside of the apartment and do what Jones said. Exactly what Jones said.” Shay leaned up to kiss Allison. “Screw dinner. We can think about it later.” Allison somehow managed to maneuver them so she could pick Shay up and carry her to bed.


End file.
